GRACE AND ADDICTION

For minutes some dark grey struggles were held in suspension in his mind as he ministered. That was the second time Ben would be ministering at his fellowship's altar. He tried overlooking the two pairs of fair mtn thighs adjacent to each other, presented before him whenever he had reasons to face the choir stand.

The old pictures and actions he once had pleasure in when private were seeping into his memory. One of the fair thighs owners dropped her pen, and Ben could accurately tell the color and also describe the patterns on her pantie. His eyes caught the dark and hairy entrance to her most dirty sanctuary. Debby and Kenny were used to doing that and always got inside the auditorium first to get a seat at the front porch after the Sunday morning's rehearsal. Ben had for some times been neglecting them since he became an executive and the two thought his spirituality shouldn't be affecting their longtime business.

What he was seeing that Sunday morning was a means of calling forth an ancient and ought dead man in him, the past life.

Embarrassed, he quickly dipped his right hand into his pocket to conceal the wrinkle formed under his pant trousers, and fixed his eyes on his Bible. He continued with his message, asking the congregation to open their scriptures to Psalms 34 verse 6. The sisters' coordinator stood to read; but what she read was not compatible with the topic and every other person could sense that. It was then Ben realised his presence had shifted from the congregation before him and there he was in his mind fighting and stumping the old nature which was trying to rise again. They had been together for long and well versed in his weaknesses; some open fair thighs and the rest. 

Debby and Kenny once stumped into Ben's room, finding him in a self sexual position; just as they had suspected. To keep their mouths shut, they offered their bodies as blackmail to him and they became a burden, adding petrol to his fire. The truth of the matter was that Ben had been striving to overcome his addiction. Everytime he prayed to God to help him be totally free; but he just always found himself in his vomit. Old ways, they say, are not easily let go even after one had given his life to Christ. It takes conscious effort and the help of the Holy Spirit to overcome. 

There used to be a man, Jordan, who was addicted to smoking. During his marijuana and weed's ministry, he came across a better ministry in Jesus. Though given his life to Christ, Jordan still found himself smoking few wraps lesser than before. It took him few months before he totally became free of it, with the help of the follow up coordinator assigned to him.

Not mindful of his environment, Ben fell to his knees, wet the blue carpet around the altar with his tears and he spoke softly into the microphone which he would never let go, and the walls of the auditorium echoed back to him his very words, having pierced several hearts under his ministration, "If I build up again the things I once destroyed I make myself a transgressor. I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.

"I have come too far to start all over." He said, and remained on the spot for few seconds more.

No one could physically really tell what had happened to the young prayer coordinator. He seemed to settle some things in his silent prayer and soon rose to his feet to continue his ministration. Ben wiped the compound of tears and sweats off his face with his sky blue face towel.

Oftentimes during his ministration he would walk to and fro the choir stand and through the back where Debby and Kenny's other species were, with the confidence of not having an erection. The simple and complex grace of God that was ever available spoke for him because he tapped into it. The fight of many years, the struggles of a decade plus, ended that faithful Sunday. A great determination, a sincere confession, a simple declaration- the longed liberation. 

Ben's prayer went beyond him being delivered totally. On their way home, they fought and argued with each other over the little scene that was played back during the service. The argument had no foundation, no sense but they kept at it. Kenny pushed Debby and she slammed against the ground with her hand bag. Her phone was utterly destroyed. The eyes of both opened and realised they had been fighting over nothing. 

The phone Engineer said the phone was condemned and would not work again. "Damn it!" It contained all of Ben's secret acts. Of a truth, He has Blotted out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross.

Story by: MICHEALHADEN & TABITHA